Medicine-who doesn't sleep peacefully

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, friendship.....So Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

-My Life Teacher*

I'm Ok Even When You're Not Ok

Put the responsibility for your own happiness where it belongs -- with you, says Richard Carlson. Unfortunately, one of the biggest relationship mistakes also happens to be one of the most tempting things to do if you are in a relationship: Making your partner responsible for your happiness and blaming him or her when you are not!

It's a little scary to listen to many of the most popular songs on the radio. So often, the message is: You make me happy; I'd be lost without you; you are my world, or other, similar types of messages which take away all the power and responsibility to make yourself happy and put it on someone else. Wow! If you think about it, that's an enormous amount of pressure to put on another person. It's like saying, I can't always be happy myself, but if you're going to be with me, you'd better make me happy!

On the surface, this concept seems rather obvious, but how many of us really do take full responsibility for our own happiness? How often do we say to ourselves, `Why can't my wife be different?' or `It makes me so mad when my husband acts that way', or `I'm stressed because my husband works too many hours'. When you examine these (and thousands of other) very common statements and thoughts, it becomes clear that they suggest, however subtly, that somehow, someone other than you is responsible for your happiness.

The thinking is like this: If only he (or she) were different, I'd be happy. They have to change. Not me, no way. It's them! What we've found is that if you believe that the answer to your unhappiness lies in someone else's hands (no matter how much you love them), you're in for a load of trouble. Even if they manage to accommodate you with occasional changes, you'll come to rely on these changes for your continued happiness. There will be only one possible result. Eventually, you'll be let down and will be discouraged. You'll be left with that helpless and dependent `It's his/her fault' feeling.

Don't get us wrong. We're not saying your partner doesn't play a role in your happiness, or that you're not the happiest when you are together or that you wouldn't or shouldn't be devastated if your partner left you by choice, or by circumstance. We certainly feel that way about each other as do all of the happy couples we know. We're also not suggesting that there are not dramatic examples where it's clear that one partner is imposing on the other's chances of being happy. What we are saying is that, ultimately, you and you alone are responsible for making yourself happy. When your life isn't working, you need to make changes or see things differently. You may have to make difficult choices, have painful or uncomfortable discussions, or compromise in some way. But you have to take responsibility for your own level of happiness. There isn't a relationship good enough to do it for you.

This is a very empowering insight for both you and your partner. In effect, you are making a statement to yourself that, while your relationship is absolutely a top priority and your love of your partner is immense, you have the power and the ability to make yourself happy.

This means that you are okay when things aren't going so well or when your partner proves to be human. Your happiness isn't entirely dependent on your partner's acting in a very specific, pre-determined way.

You are also making an important statement to your partner, taking a great deal of pressure off that person: It's okay for you to be human. You can make mistakes and you don't have to walk around on eggshells or pretend to be a certain way when you're near me. You don't have to worry that I'll freak out every time you disappoint me. I accept the fact that when I'm disappointed, the disappointment is coming from my own thoughts. I have preferences, but won't allow these preferences to ruin my life. You can have low moods and you even have my permission to be less than perfect.

I'm okay even when you're not okay, and I love you as unconditionally as I know how.

By taking responsibility for your own happiness, you open the door to a new type of relationship, one based on honesty, responsibility, courage and wisdom. If you take this road, you're in for a lifetime of nice surprises. You'll be amazed at how happier you'll be when you put the responsibility for your own happiness where it belongs - with you.

-My Life Teacher*

About Friendship

Asking yourself the following questions about your relationship :

1- Do you have at least one person nearby whom you can call on in times of personal distress?

2- Do you have several people whom you can visit with little advance warning without apology?

3- Do you have several people with whom you can share recreational activities?

4- Do you have people who will lend you money of you need it, or those who will care for you in practical ways if the need arises?

If your response is largely negative, it may be that your friendships are being impeded by your social life! Some people immerse themselves in such a whirl of parties and social affairs that there is no opportunity to establish a close relationship. The fact of the matter is that one cannot have a profound connection with more than a few people. Time prohibits it. Deep friendship requires cultivation over the years- evenings before the fire, long walks together, and lots of time for talk. It requires keeping the television off so that the two of you can log in with each other. If your social calendar is too full to provide for such intimate bonding, it should be pared. “True happiness” said Ben Johnson, “consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice”.

Some people get a strong sense of togetherness from being in large groups of people, and I am not arguing for or against an active social life. What I am lobbying for is an ordering of priorities. Getting close to a few people is more important than being popular enough to receive 1300 Birthday whishes cards every year...

How many people send to you wishes.....on your any special day...?

Friendship: Happiness

The surest way to be miserable,” said George Bernard Shaw, “is to have the leisure to wonder whether or not you are happy.” We do not usually discover happiness in the pursuit of it. Most often it is a byproduct, coming to us as we are in the midst of giving ourselves to another.

S* expressed the meaning of intimacy for her: “With these friends you make a real effort, and then you break the barrier and you go beyond. This is a fantastic thing- you go home and lie awake because so many facts in your mind and soul have been opened. And when it is happening, I forget everything. It’s not physical at all. I can sit with a drink of water, and I don’t need any else. It’s a feeling of discovery that something here inside you seems to be growing and opening and expanding. And then the nest day I am more energetic and optimistic. Going trough the effort of sharing, of getting involved, was worthwhile. It is an increase of power, strength, and energy.

Why do we seldom relate at such a deep level? Why is there such a shortage of friendship? One simple reason: We do not devote ourselves sufficiently to it. If our relationships are the most valuable commodity we can own in this world, one would except that everyone everywhere would assign friendship highest priority. But for many, it does not even figure in their list of goals. They apparently assume that love will “just happen

But of course few of the valuable things in life “just happen”. When they happen it is because we recognize their importance and devote ourselves to them. You can have almost anything you want if you want it badly enough. If you want to make a million dollars badly enough you probably can do it. If you want to run the Boston Marathon badly enough you probably can do it. And if you want love you can have that too. It us simply a matter of priorities. Significant relationships come to those who assign them enough importance to cultivate them.

Tips: Male-Female Friendship

Here are six ideas for keeping your sexual feelings under control and still enjoying deep friendship: -

1- Don’t trust yourself too far. Be aware of the ebb and flow of your sexual desire. Most of us vary greatly in the amount of sexual feeling we have, and at times its power can rush in on us if we are not prepared. If you sexuality is at flood tide, then exercise extra caution.

2- Select companions who have strong marriages themselves. If your friend is hungry love, it may be very difficult to keep the relationship within bounds.

3- Be sensible about when and where you meet alone. Some settings are more sexual than others. Lunch, for instance, is not as likely to lead to trouble as dinner at a restaurant filled with lovers eating by candlelight

4- Talk to your mate about your friendships. When meetings become clandestine single that things are getting out of hand. Either bring yourself to tell your spouse about the progression of the friendship or get out.

5- Draw a line for physical contact. Find the amount of physical affection that is comfortable and safe for you; since no one can stay in control once sexual touching and kissing cross a certain boundary.

6- Ball out if necessary. Once in a while, no matter how much we try, a friendship with the opposite sex gets out of hand and we know where it is going to lead. If your marriage is precious to you, there is no question of what must be done, however great the pain you back away.

Everyone Needs Someone S*

People need people and friends need friends
And we all need love for a full life depends
Not on vast riches or great acclaim,
Not on success or on worldly fame,
But just in knowing that someone cares
And holds us close in their thoughts and prayers

Thanks You S*

I never came to you, my friend,
and went away without
some new enrichment of the heart;
More faith and less of doubt,
more courage in the days ahead.
And often in great need coming to you,

Friendship

It is by chance we met, by choice we became friends.
Friendship is a strange thing---
we find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives,
things we don't even share with our families who raised us.
But what is a friend? A confidant? A lover?
A fellow email junkie? A shoulder to cry on?
An ear to listen? A heart to feel?...
A friend is all these things...and more.
No matter where we met, I call you friend.
A word so small yet so large in feeling,
a word filled with emotion.

It is true great things come in small packages.
Once the package of friendship has been opened,
it can never be closed.
It is a constant book always written
waiting to be read and enjoyed.
We may have our disagreements, we may argue,
we may concern one another,
friendship is a unique bond that lasts through it all.

A part of me is put into my friends,
some it is my humor, some it is my listening ear,
some it is real life experiences, some it is my romanticism
but with all, it is friendship.

Friendships forged are a construct stronger
than steel built as a foundation,
necessary for life and necessary for love.
Friends----you and me
You brought another friend and then there were 3.
We started our group
Our circle of friends and like that circle
There is no beginning or end...
~author unknown

There's a miracle of Friendship
that dwells within the heart,
And you don't know how it happens
or where it gets its start...
But the happiness it brings you
always gives a special lift,
And you realize that Friendship
Is God's most perfect gift.
-Jean Kyler McManus

The Beauty of Lifetime Relationship

Those who are rich in their friendship seem to be those who believe in lifelong relationship, who stay with their companions through thick and thin ,who weather the dry spells.

My uncle was 47 when his best friend died. His grief at friend's death made me realize what their friendship hadmeant to them for more the 40 years. they had grown up as boys in the same rural town. My uncle reflecting on their similarities,said:" Pant and I had a lot in common. ......and your aunty were the only girls either of us ever went out with, and we stayed married to them for more than 28 years".

At times the two men did not see much of each other because one or both were very busy , but there were hidden sinews of loyalty there.Pant always sent a bushel of mango to our house in the fall when his orchard was bearing, and my uncle would drop by Pant's nursery, where they would have long talk as they walked among the rows of shrubs.

But nowadays ......

There are people who are chronic failures at all their intimate relations and who are always on the move-jumping out of one friendship and into another relationship, Thinking all the time that the trouble has been their friends.They suppose that their hope for happiness lies in finding better people somewhere in the world. Often estranged from their relatives, they also carry on feuds with their neighbors and move from one marriage to another.

But consider , Sooner or later , You must learn to hang on when the going is tough ,to give even when your are not getting much.

(NHRK)

Miracle of Touch

A few years ago a group of young medical students were training in the children's ward of a large hospital. One particular student seemed especially loved by the children. They always greeted him with joy.the others could not understand why? Finally they detailed one of their number to follow him and find out what it was about him that attracted the children The observe detected nothing until night, when the young medic made his last round. Then the mystery was solved. He kissed child good-night.

Guideline number one for cultivating intimacy is :- Our bodies become our best tools for achieving genuine intimacy with those around us. If you observe this who have deep relationships, you will find that, although few of them are indiscriminate grabbers who hug everyone in sight, most have delicately tuned their sense of touch and it is in use every time the are with people. They listen with their eyes, they draw close to another person during conversation, and they make body contact frequently to keep communication at a warm level.

Ashley Montagu demonstrates that the skin, once regarded as little more than a simple body covering, is actually our most powerful sense organ. More than half a million sensory fibers flow from the skin though the spinal cord to the brain. As a sensory system its is the most important organ part of the body. A human being can function blind and deaf and completely lacking the senses of smell and taste, But it is impossible to survive at all without the function performed by the skin. It was once thought that animals licked their young merely to keep them clean. But as Montagu shown, the washing serves a much more profound purpose. Proper stimulation of the skin is essential for organic and behavioral development.

(NHRK)

Friendship: A Valuable Commodity

Jesus placed great value on relationship. He chose to spend much of his time deepening his connection with a few significant person rather than addressing the crowed. What is more: his teaching was filledwith practical suggestions on how to befriend people and how to relate to friends.

The commandment on this topic was so important that he introduced it with an opening flag :"A new commandment I give to you ,that you love one another: even as I have loved you: that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another "( John13:34-35).

Those words are now almost 2000 years old, but their currency is demonstrated by a recent study. In his book "The Broken Heart" Dr. James  & J. Lynch shows that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. Lynch who is a specialist in psychosomatic disease, cites a wealth of statistics to demonstrate the unhealthy aspects of isolation and the magical powers of human contact.

Even viewed from a financial perspective, our friendships are our most valuable commodity. Studies at the Carnegie Institute of Technology reveal that even in such fields as engineering, about 15% of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering to personality and the ability to lead people.

Dr. William Menninger has found that when people are discharged from their jobs in industry, social incompetence accounts for 60 to 80% of the failures. Only 20 to 40% are due to technical incompetence.

(NHRK)

Forgive me S

I`m hoping that, with this letter you will accept my most sincere apologies.I made a mista, and was unfortunate in what I said, but I didn`t mean to offend you. More importantly, deep down, I never believed you would go ahead and do something I`d suggested in such a foolish and irresponsible joke.

I was unusually inappropriate, and my biggest mistake is that I acted like towards the person that least deserved it, because you are the one that brought me back the joy of life. So, I beg for you forgiveness and I hope you`ll find in your heart the ability to grant me that request.

You have a noble soul, with no place for anger, despite all the sorrow and pain I`ve inflicted upon you, for which I remorse and punish myself.

A few hours have since gone by (sad ones, to tell you the truth), and I realize how stupid I was. I know you well enough to have guessed the things I said would offend you. I`m not about to sing you a ballad or talk about love in bunches; you know how much I love you, and I know and believe that you love me, even though you`re feeling hurt at the moment, and rightly so.

I`m sad and, at the same time, mad at myself for having been so stupid. Please forgive me.

Munni, I am so sorry if I hurt your feelings that Day(Sunday18/11/07[L.P.N Market Delhi]) and if
you feel that I don't have any respect towards you, but perhaps there was a
misconception. I won't try to win back your affection. This is not giving up but
I am giving you a free thought of what happened.

Thanks for the happy memories, I will cherish them, I won't forget you!